There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
