I want to stick my p in your. b.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
