kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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