i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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