dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
