Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
