I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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