Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
