It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
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i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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