I wish i was in the wii world.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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