Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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