Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
