therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
