Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
