We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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