So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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