I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
