Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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