What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
