Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
