I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
