found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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