Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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