idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
