Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize