just come out here and I will go home with you...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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