I cockslap morals
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
