Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
