So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
