so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I fill condoms, not promises.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just want nice things and good sex
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
