my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
