2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
