All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize