i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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