The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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