But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
