Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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