i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
