He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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