Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
