saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
