is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
