Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize