i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
