all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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