Yo dont text me then not text me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
