you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
