If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
