I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
