Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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