Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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