how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
