i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
