Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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