Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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