elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
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No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
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Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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