so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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