youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
