you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
