...so i touched it.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
